Smooth Criminals
by KinkyEyepatchShit
Summary: They were gonna do it! The mission: steal from the panda Bookman. These teens might not make it out alive. But wait, what? a backstabber among them? it's time to take up the chase. Summary SUCKS ASS. so read the real one inside. R&R plz. thanks.


Disclaimer: Don't own anything D.Gray-Man related. Got it memorized?

Axel: hey! You're gonna get in trouble if you keep taking my line!

Me: O.o) oops. Sorry Axel. I also do not own Kingdom Hearts quotes.

Axel: AHEM!

Me: please don't make me say it!

Axel: You have to..

Me: (starts to cry) I don't…own Kingdom Hearts characters…like Axel..

Axel: (pats head) there, there.

A/N: so this is a kind of continuation of my last DGM one shot, 'D.Gray-Man, breaking and entering" or whatever the hell the name is. I forget. This is pretty sad. All you need to know is that Kanda and Lavi 'adopted' two kids, twins, Miranda adopted one, Allen one, and Komui (though Lenalee does most of the 'care taking) adopted one as well. As far-fetched at that sounds, it works. I ended the last one with an opening for the next one, where the supposed 'leader', Max (Komui's kid of course) was making a new plan for trouble. The Black Order is doomed, as we know it. And by the way, Lavi and Kanda are together!! But the rating isn't that high, so the worst that'll happen is making out and groping. Probably. Read and Review please, I'm a review whore. Sorry, but I am. No flames. Got it? No like-y, no read-y. And yeah I know the title sucks major Akuma balls..Sorry. Best I could do on such sort notice.

**Smooth Criminals **

"I cannot believe you convinced me to do this," mutters the blond haired girl sulkily, gray eyes narrowed. She crouched even lower in the hall, trying to peek into the library through a small opening in the door.

"This is a brilliant idea!" exclaims the green haired boy, the leader, thrusting a finger into the air. He was the nearest to the door, ear against it to hear any noise inside, which was only the rustle of book pages being turned.

"Will you shut up!" hisses the crimson haired boy, glaring angrily at the other boy.

He was currently crouching behind them, fingers twitching nervously as he glances down the hall, eyes open for anyone coming their way, "I am seriously so close to killing you, I can hear your screams echoing Max," he threatens.

"We're gonna die," murmurs his crimson haired twin silently, green eyes wide in fear.

"D-don't say that Anju!" protests the brown haired girl weakly, "I'm sure we'll be fine," she adds.

"He's gonna kill us," mutters Anju, lip trembling, "Kill us Raine," she say.

"You got that right. And if he doesn't kill us, the all mighty straight-bangs will," says the blond.

"He'll kill you if he finds out you said, Becca," says the red haired boy, shaking his head at her, "And Anju, snap out of it," he adds.

Becca rolls her eyes, "He tries to kill everyone and anyone. It's not my fault your big brother is insane, Haru," she replies.

"I'm sure it's not his fault either. Years in this place, working for that crazy supervisor will do that to you," states Haru solemnly.

"Don't –MPHM!" protests Max, fighting the hand grabbing his lips.

"Listen to me idiot. Didn't I tell you if we get caught, I'll set Becca here loose and let her do stuff to you?" Haru hisses in his ear, squeezing the green haired boys' lips between two fingers.

"You're making me sound like some kind of rabid dog," mutters Becca sourly.

"Well that's what you act like sometimes," snaps Haru. He turns his attention back to his victim, ignoring the glowering blond, "Now. You have to keep your mouth, shut. Your shouting is gonna alert that wrinkly old panda, and he'll then kill us. And then I'll kill you," he says.

"But how will you kill him if we're already dead by Panda-ojii, I mean Bookman-san?" asks Raine curiously.

Haru smirks evilly, "Oh, I have my ways," he replies darkly.

Two of the five teens shudder in fear.

Haru shoots one last glare at Max, and releases his hold on his lips, wiping his hand on his pants.

"That wasn't necessary!" protests Max, scowling at the red haired boy, who in turn shrugs nonchalantly,

"I don't care," he replies, "Do you hear anything?" he asks next.

The green haired teen huffs, hovers in close to the door and listens,

"No. nothing," he says in awe, turning back to the other teens, "What do you suppose he's doing in there?" he asks.

"Hopefully, he's asleep or taking a crap or something," says Becca, flipping her bangs out of her eyes.

"But knowing him, he's looking for another book, and in that short time frame, we have to get in there, find it, and run like hell," states Haru, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Do you think we'll be ok?" asks Anju, snapping out of her daze, and looking at her brother imploringly.

Haru stares at her a moment, then replies with, "I have no idea. But remember plan B," he replies.

Max looks confused, "Plan B? There was a plan B?" he asks, "Why wasn't I notified?"

Becca smirks, "Because plan B is: Use Annoying Dumbass to distract the panda and run like hell when the panda is ripping him to shreds," she explains.

The green haired teen stares at her with wide eyes, face pale, "I don't like that plan," he says quietly.

"We didn't think you would, so we didn't tell you," says Anju cheerfully.

"Uhm Max, I voted against the plan," pipes up Raine, "But then I realized, the strongest must survive," she continues in a determined tone.

"And hey, when the panda kills you, we'll tell yours story to everyone we meet," adds Becca brightly.

"I really don't like that plan," whimpers Max pitifully, "And what do you mean, 'when' he kills me!?" he exclaims.

"Oh just shut up already," mutters Haru, "And keep your voice down. That damn panda can hear a pin drop in a crowded room."

"Then why the hell are we doing this then?" asks Becca, frowning in irritation.

Four pairs of eyes focus of a cowering Max, "Uh, we'll be famous?" he suggests timidly.

Becca cracks her knuckles, "Wrong answer, moron," she says gravely.

"When word gets out we stole from the panda, we won't be heroes. We'll be slaughtered," states Anju, "Man this sucks. Maybe we should bail out?" she suggests.

"NO! We must continue!" pipes up Max enthusiastically, causing the other to shush him harshly.

"You know, we end up doing this with every hair-brained scheme he comes up with," deadpans Haru.

"That's true," agrees Anju, "But we always go through with it," she adds.

Max looks up at her with sparkling eyes, "So that means?" he asks hopefully, clasping his hands together.

"We quit," reply the other in unison.

Max's eyes widen, "What?! Oh come on you guys! I need your help! We won't get in trouble! I'll take the blame if we do, and I'll let you have my pudding cups for two months!" he says hurriedly.

Max frowns thoughtfully, "Weeell,"

"When you put it that way," continues Anju,

"We just can't refuse," finishes Raine with a smile, "And I guess we can't just leave you hanging. We are friends after all," she adds.

All eyes are suddenly on their blond haired companion, who crouched with her arms crossed over her chest, looking quite serious, "I never said I was your friend," she says.

"Oh come on, Becca!" says Anju with a roll of her eyes, "You know you love us,"

"Please Becca?" pleads Raine,

"There won't be any homicidal robots," pipes up Haru with a smirk.

Becca stares at them for a moment, "Three months," she says finally.

Max grins, "No problem! You guys are the best," he says joyfully, leaning over towards Becca with his arms outstretched.

The blond stares at him, "Touch me and I'll kill you," she deadpans.

Max yelps fearfully, and scoots away from her.

"Now that that's settled, let's get this thing over with," says Anju happily.

The others nod in turn, and get started.

Becca approaches the door, and opens it slowly, just enough for someone to slip through, and sticks her head inside, peering around the library.

The old Bookman was no-where in sight.

She pulls back out and smirks, "The coast is clear," she says.

Max takes a deep breath, eyes closed. Opening them, he says, "Let's do this."

He glances at Haru, "Haru my dear friend, why don't you go first?" he suggests, with no shame what-so-ever.

The redhead snorts, "Coward," he mutters, and quickly slips inside, ducking down

behind the first check-out desk. Glancing around, he waves the others inside,

and with minimal whining on Max's part, they follow Haru inside, mimicking his spy moves.(A/N oh yeah. Spies)

Haru makes it to the desk the Bookman was working at, and grips onto the edge of the desk and pulls himself up.

He was then followed by Anju, who peers curiously at the papers on the desk, and Raine, who nervously glances towards the door.

Suddenly, the sound of something colliding with a desk rings through the air.

The three teens look on in horror, as Max silently curses and rubs his shin, and Becca face palms, wishing she were anywhere but there at that moment.

"You moron!" Haru hisses in a tight whisper, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" he glowers at the green haired teen.

"It was an accident," whines Max, joining him before the desk.

"It's always an accident with you," snaps Anju, "Look; I don't want to die today, ok? So be more careful!" she cautions with a steady glare.

Raine nervously glances at Becca, who stood silently beside her, "How are you holding up, Becca?" she asks.

"When all this is over, I'm going to kill him," she replies calmly.

Raine then thinks better of saying anything else to lighten up the mood.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Start searching drawers!" commands Haru, swiftly wrenching open a drawer on the left and leafing though it's contents.

The others immediately comply, not wanting to be in that room any more than they need to, and start searching.

After a few minutes, Anju gasps in triumph, "I found it!" she exclaims excitedly.

The others rush to her side and gaze in relief at the object in her hand; a black eye-liner pen.

"Great job, Anju!" praises Max, patting her on the shoulder, "We might actually get out of here alive."

"I have one question," pipes up Becca, "Why the hell would he put it here?" she asks.

The others shrug in turn, each not really wanting to know.

"What are you brats doing in here?" asks a gruff male voice from behind them.

The five teens freeze in fear, not daring to move, uncertain of the panda…I mean the Bookman's mood.

"Uh, Lavi just wanted to say he's going to be borrowing that book a little longer than he thought," pipes up Haru.

They hear the old man 'hmm' reflectively, and they slowly turn around to face him.

He had his arms tucked into his sleeves, a blank look on his face, dark eyes peering at them.

"But why did he send the four of you?" he asks.

That made Haru pause, "Don't you mean five?" he says in confusion.

"You need to go back to school and learn how to count, brat, there are only four of you here," replies Bookman with a Hmph.

The teens blink, and glance at each other, realizing who was missing.

"That little bastard ditched us!" shouts Becca angrily, "Oooh, I'm gonna kill him now!"

"I thought you said you were already gonna kill him?" says Raine quietly.

Becca turns her harsh gaze to the dark haired girl, "Well now I'll kill him double!" she snaps, causing the other girl to flinch, eyes wide in fright.

"I hate to break it to you, young lady, but you can't kill someone double," says Bookman, "I should know," he adds wistfully, thinking back to all the times he tried-but-not-quite to kill Lavi. He did need an apprentice.

Becca growls, taking a step towards the old man, only to be held back by Anju, who grabs onto her arm, "No killing the old man," the redhead says quietly in her ear.

"If it's alright with you, we'll be going now Panda," says Haru, steering the girls towards the exit.

He gets struck in the back of a head, falling face first to the ground in a heap, a thick volumed book the culprit, laying on it's side on the ground beside the redhead.

"Don't call me that you ingrate. You're getting as bad as that fool Lavi," growls Bookman.

Raine and Anju help Haru up, while Becca chuckles quietly to herself when she sees the flustered look on the boys' face.

The four of them move towards the exit again, determined to leave before all hell breaks loose and the old man finds out its gone.

"Wait a minute," says Bookman.

They stop in their tracks, not daring to even breath wrong, in case the old man picks up on the nervousness.

"Tell my stupid apprentice to have that book in here as soon as he can," continues the man.

The teens sigh quietly in relief, and evacuate the library, intent on one thing,

"We are gonna go kill that green haired idiot aren't we?" Becca asks, glancing at Haru.

"Oh hell yes," he replies immediately, "It was his plan, and he bailed when things got bad. He must die," he says gravely.

"Haru, that bump looks pretty bad, does it hurt?" asks Anju, reaching over to poke at the swollen lump on her brothers head.

"OUCH! Yes, it freaking hurts! Don't do that!" screams Haru, wrenching her arms from his head and glaring at her.

"I'm sure we can get you an ice-pack or something," suggests Raine.

Haru stares at her gratefully, "That's the best idea I've heard all day," he replies.

Becca nods, "After that, we kill him," she says.

"Yep!" pipes up Anju happily.

* * *

"Will you quit following me?" snaps the raven haired samurai irritably, casting a glare at the tag-along beside him.

"But Yuu-chan, this way, we can spend more time together," replies the red haired man cheerfully, grinning at the other man.

"I already see you everyday; at breakfast, during missions, training, lunch, dinner, and when we have to go bail those damn brats out of trouble," growls Kanda, eyes narrowed, "I think we spend enough time together," he adds.

Lavi sighs, "You're so mean Yuu-chan," he whines, "Not even wanting to spend time with your boyfriend."

Kanda growls again, trying to ignore a sad Lavi, but failing miserably, "Hmph, fine. Let's go find something to do," he says finally.

The redhead smiles, "Yay!" he cheers excitedly.

A moment later, Haru and the others approach them from the opposite direction in the hall.

"Haru, what happened to your head?" asks Lavi, concern oozing from his voice. He immediately abandons Kanda and makes a bee-line for the younger redhead.

"That damn panda nailed me with a book," mutters the teen sourly, scowling as his sister giggles, "It's not funny, shut up!"

"It's pretty funny, Haru. That's what you get for calling him panda to his face," pipes up Becca smugly,

"You can shut the hell up," retorts Haru angrily, "At least I didn't say something like 'I'll kill him double," he adds

The blond glares at him, "I will kill him double!"

"Who will you kill double?" asks Lavi, an eyebrow raised.

"Max," deadpans Kanda emotionlessly.

The teens nod in agreement, their faces showing different levels of anger and annoyance. Or in Raine case, discomfort.

"What did he do this time?" asks Lavi distractedly, gently prodding Haru's lump.

"OUCH! Dammit, will you people quit poking it!" shouts the younger redhead in response, pulling away from Lavi and glaring at him.

"Don't worry about what that idiot did this time," says Becca, ignoring Haru's death glare, "But if you hear his screams of terror, turn around and walk the opposite direction," she explains.

"Make sure you stab him plenty of times," says Kanda helpfully, getting five alarmed stares in return.

The raven haired man scowls, "The little bastard braided my hair," he mutters sourly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I think you look sexy with your hair braided," pipes up Lavi, tugging at the long raven strands, "And I think I have an idea of what the two of us can do together," purrs the redhead, a hand straying to the waistband of the samurai's pants.

The teens stare in horror, and Kanda glances at Lavi, and nods slowly, "I also have an idea," he replies, a look of lust in his cold dark eyes.

A split second later, the two of them sprint down the hall, Kanda still trying to look dignified, and Lavi just not caring.

"Bye kids, don't come down our hallway until later tonight!" the redhead shouts back to his charges, and with that, the two of them disappear down the hall.

The teens silently stare in the direction the two exorcists went, looks of horror on their faces.

"Haru," says Becca, "Your…parents are incredibly horny," she states.

"It's kinda scary," adds Raine with wide eyes, a crimson blush staining her cheeks.

"You guys, we have to live with it, every day," replies Anju, "so you have no idea, the trials we have to face…the waking up in the middle of the night to moans and banging coming from the room next door," she explains.

"And then in the morning, when we ask what the deal was, Yuu just grunts, looking all perky, and Lavi just smiles wearily," adds Haru.

Another silent moment passes.

"Anyway, I think we should go find that backstabbing bastard now," pipes up Becca with a nod.

"Good idea. It'll get our minds off things," says Anju happily, "So do we split up?" she asks.

Haru nods, "Yeah. Anju, you go look in Komui's office, Raine, you go to the cafeteria, and Becca will go look for Lenalee," he instructs.

Becca frowns at him, eyes narrowed.

He sighs, "Fine! You can go to the cafeteria, just bring me back a sandwich or something!" he says, "Raine, please just go look for Lenalee. But if she asks why we're looking for him, do not, whatever you do, spill the beans," he says gravely.

The dark haired girl nods, a determined look on her face, "Got it."

"Wait a sec," pipes up Anju, "What are we gonna do with the eye-liner?" she asks, pulling it out of her pocket and holding it limply in her palm, "We can't carry it around with us. Once the panda realizes it's gone, he's gonna come straight to us," she says.

Haru smirks, and takes it from her, "You just leave that to me," he responds, and pockets it in his jacket.

Becca chuckles, "Oh, someone's got a plan up there in that empty head of his," she says, pointing to the redhead's skull.

Haru frowns at her, "My head is not empty," he protests, "And I have a very good plan. Anyway, let's get moving people."

"But uhm, how are we going to let the others know if we find him?" asks Raine nervously.

Haru is silent, brows drawn in thought.

Becca sighs, "I knew I had these for a reason," she mutters, and silently removes the bag from her shoulders.

After shuffling thought it for a few seconds, she produces four walkie-talkies, "Here. Take one. When you spot the moron, corner him and then contact the rest of us," she says.

"Good idea, Becca!" praises Anju with a grin, "We might just pull this off."

"Now can we go?" asks Haru impatiently.

"I don't see any reason why we can't," says Becca, "I can't wait to find that idiot and beat the crap out of him," she says eagerly.

"Y-yes well, just don't kill him," advises Raine timidly.

"Let's get a move on people!" snaps Haru, "And if you are the one to find him, do NOT kill him!" he adds, pointedly staring expectantly at the blond, who nods,

"Yeah, yeah, no killing," she mutters.

The others leave, and when out of hearing range, she murmurs, "You never said anything about not maiming him," she cackles evilly to herself and heads off to the cafeteria.

* * *

Komui whimpers, tears rapidly pouring down his cheeks, "You bastards have had me up all day and night!" he complains, stamping yet another paper, "When will it end!?"

"When you drop dead," deadpans Riba seriously, a high stack of papers in his arms, "You have to stamp these too," he adds nonchalantly.

Komui takes one look at the papers, and bursts into tears once more, "Why MEEE?! Lenalee, come save meeee!" he cries.

"No breaks you good-for-nothing!" snaps the blond man angrily, shaking Komui by the shoulders roughly, "Get back to work!"

"Uhm, Komui-san?" asks an uneasy female voice.

The supervisor and squad leader both stop and stare at Anju, who smiles nervously, "Hi."

Komui straightens up, and chuckles, "Why hello Anju-chan, what can I do for you?" he asks.

"Sorry to interrupt your work, but have you seen Max recently?" she questions.

Komui ponders for a moment, "No, I haven't seen him for quite a while. Last time I saw him, he said he was going to go hang out with you and the others," he replies.

Anju nods, "Oh, well I'll just keep looking. Thank you," she says, and quickly exists.

Komui stretches his arms high above his head, "Man, I'm stiff. Maybe I'll just pop off to the cafeteria for some coffee," he says smoothly.

Riba turns to glare at him, "There's coffee he-ACK! He's gone!" he exclaims, the only trace of the supervisor being a Komui-shaped dust cloud.

"That bastard," hisses the blond, eyes narrowed.

* * *

"Eh? Becca what are you doing here?" asks Allen, slowly spooning pie into his mouth.

The blond rolls her eyes at him, "Doing what people usually do when they go to the cafeteria," she replies, taking a seat beside him, "And looking for that little moron, Max," she adds, grabbing his neglected fork and stuffing a piece of meatloaf into her mouth.

"Hey, get your own meatloaf!" protests the white haired man, frowning at her.

"Why should I, when there's some right here?" asks Becca, "So have you seen him?" she asks after swallowing the meatloaf.

Allen shakes his head, "The last time I saw him, he was screaming in terror and running away from you," he explains, "I think that was this morning, right?"

Becca smirks, thinking back to clobbering the green haired teen earlier that day, "Yeah, it was….good times," she says.

"Why are you looking for him anyway?" asks Allen curiously, finished with the pie and now moving on to the curry at his side.

"Don't worry about it," responds Becca distractedly, standing and dusting off her skirt.

Allen raises an eyebrow, "Now I have to worry," he says, "Don't kill him when you find him, alright?" he says.

Becca nods, "Yeah whatever. Jeez, I'm getting tired of people telling me that," she mutters to herself.

"Then stop trying to kill him," states Allen.

"He deserves to be killed!" protests Becca, "I can't help it if all the stupid stuff he does just makes me want to slaughter him," she continues.

Allen sighs, shakes his head and goes back to his meal, intent of finishing it before the teen could get her hands on anymore of his food.

* * *

Raine was speed walking though one of the many halls of the Black Order, eyes shifting around, searching for the exorcist with the dark boots.

She spots her, turning into the next hall, "Ah, wait, Lenalee-san!" she calls, hurrying up to the woman.

Lenalee stops, clipboard forgotten, attention now on the dark haired girl, "What do you need, Raine-chan?" she asks, "Is something wrong?"

Raine shakes her head, "N-no. I was just wondering if you've seen Max recently," she explains.

Lenalee suddenly gets very serious, "What did he do?" she asks gravely.

Raine's eyes widen in alarm, "N-nothing! He said to meet up with him later today, and now none of us can find him," she says quickly.

Lenalee mood turns bright again, "Oh, well if that's the case, I haven't seen him since early this morning when Becca was chasing him down the hallways and shooting at him," she replies.

"That was great…uh I mean, that's too bad, that you haven't seen him, that is," says Raine, "If you see him, let me know please." She turns to leave.

"Raine-chan," calls Lenalee.

The girl stops, "Y-y-yes?"

"If he's done anything stupid, you let me know, and I'll gladly take care of him," states the dark boots user solemnly.

Raine gulps, and nods her head rapidly, "S-sure," and rushes off.

* * *

At that moment, Haru was also walking down a long hallway in the Black Order, holding a nice cold ice pack to the back of his head.

"Where is that little bastard?" he mutters to himself, eyes darting around the hallway.

Turning the corner, he almost collides with said backstabbing leader.

"Why hello Maxwell," says the redhead smugly, smirking at the cowering green haired teen.

"H-h-haru. Look man, I really didn't mean to ditch you guys like that!" protests Max nervously, "I just had to uh…u-use the bathroom!" he says quickly.

"Oh I understand perfectly," replies the redhead slowly, reaching behind his back, and pulling his ax from it's strap.

"I understand that you're DEAD!!" he shouts, swinging the ax down towards Max swiftly.

The green haired teen shrieks and jumps back, the edge of the ax narrowly missing his crotch, again,

"Haru, d-d-dude! Please, don't kill me! I'll do anything!" he pleads, tears forming comically in the corners of his eyes.

Haru pauses, as if in thought, then shrugs, "You can die," he says, and swings downward once more, the ax crashing into the floor, sending pieces of marble and smoke into the air.

Once the smoke cleared, Max was pressed against the wall, tears pouring down his face in a manner that would make Komui proud of his protégé.

"Haru-san! What are you doing?!" shouts a familiar male voice.

Arystar Krory quickly approaches the two teens, eyes wide in shock.

"Well, Crowe-chan, I am trying to decapitate this shit head here. So I suggest you vacate the perimeter," replies the redhead nonchalantly, pulling his ax from where it was embedded in the floor and turning his attention back to the cowering Max.

"Y-you destroyed this hallway!" exclaims Krory, eyes still wide as he surveys the destruction.

The floor was in pieces, chunks of marble scattered about, a huge crater in the floor where the ax had met marble.

Smoke still slowly floated up into the air, and Max looked like he was about to wet himself.

All in a days work for Haru.

"So?" he responds, cocking his head to the side, "I will gladly risk the destruction of this whole institute for the elimination of this idiot," he says, jerking a thumb towards Max.

"By the way, Crowe-chan," pipes up the redhead again, digging into his pocket and chucking something at the former vampire, "Contact the others and tell them I found the backstabber," he instructs.

Krory barely manages to catch the item: a walkie-talkie.

"As for you…" growls Haru slowly, advancing upon the green haired teen.

"W-wait, Haru…AHHHHH!!! SOMEONE SAVE MEEE!" screams Max. (A/N is it just me or does it sound like max is gonna get raped?)

* * *

"Uh, it this thing on?" mutters a voice on the other end of the walkie-talkie.

Becca immediately abandons her pie and picks up the device, holding it up to her ear, "Yeah it's on, who is this?" she asks.

"This is Arystar Krory," replies the vampire, "And uhm, Haru-san wanted me to tell you that he found Max," sounds of terrified screaming is in the back round.

"Oh, that's good! Tell Haru I'll let the others know," says Becca, and with that, flicks the walkie-talkie on to another channel. (A/N I have no idea how these things work shrug)

"Oi, Raine," says the blond, having switched to the timid girls channel, "Haru found Max," she says.

"T-that's good. I had thought I heard screaming coming from a few halls down," replies the girl nervously.

Allen shoots Becca an alarmed look, eyebrows raised.

Becca dismisses it with a wave of her hand and ignores him, "Heh, yeah. Just follow the screams and I'm sure you'll find them," she says, "Oh, and tell Anju what I just told you, ok?"

Without further ado, she shuts off the walkie-talkie once more and returns to her pie.

"Don't worry about it huh?" mutters Allen, shaking his head at her.

Becca shrugs, "Whatever happens to him, the little worm deserves it," he states, munching on her pie.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PRECIOUS LENALEE?!" screams the very angry supervisor, pointing an accusing finger towards an unfortunate Finder.

The man flinches, releasing Lenalee, "Miss Lenalee almost tripped, so I grabbed her before she fell, sir," he replies nervously.

"YOU WERE TRYING TO MOLEST HER WEREN'T YOU, YOU OCTOPUS!" screams Komui, totally ignoring the man's explanation.

He reaches into his pocket and produces four rabbit shaped bombs and a lighter.

"What the hell is that moron doing?!" exclaims Becca, backing away from the scene slowly.

Allen doesn't answer, he merely rushes over to the supervisor, intent of stopping the chaos, "Komui-san, he really wasn't doing anything bad to Lenalee!" he shouts.

Deciding it just wasn't worth it, Becca flees the scene, "Screw that," she mutters, just as Komui threw the first bomb.

* * *

"Haru!" calls Anju, rushing up to him, "I heard you found Max," she says.

Pausing, she glances around, "Well where is he?" she asks.

Haru shrugs, "He got away."

"W-what?! why did you let him escape?!" she shouts.

"This is all part of the plan," he says.

"Well what's the plan?" asks Becca, approaching the two siblings, Raine right behind her.

Haru smirks, "Oh, you'll see," he replies, pulling his pockets inside out and showing them to the females.

They stare at him wide eyed, "You didn't!" gasps Anju in awe.

The other redhead's smirk only grew wider, "I did."

"You sly dog!" praises Becca, slapping the other teens back, "I can't believe you pulled it off!"

"I don't know whether to feel sorry for Max, or laugh," murmurs Raine, unsure.

Anju grins at her, "Well look at it this way; better him than us."

* * *

Bookman stares at the door before him, hand poised above it, ready to knock.

He can definitely hear the sounds inside, and hesitates.

Rolling his eyes, he knocks soundly, twice, and waits for a response.

"God dammit, didn't you tell those brats not to come down here until later?!" snaps Kanda's voice from inside, along with the sound of the bed springs creaking.

"Yeah I did," responds Lavi breathlessly, "But maybe something happened," he adds.

A moment later, the door opens, on the other side is Lavi, clad in nothing but green boxers, crimson hair loose and falling over his eyes, headband forgotten.

I nside on the bed lay Kanda, against the pillows, propped up on his elbows. The blankets covered his lower body, while his pale, bare chest shone with a layer of sweat.

"Panda? What are you doing here?" asks Lavi curiously.

Bookman glares at him and smacks him against the head, "Don't call me that fool!" he snaps, "Now, where is it?" he asks.

Lavi blinks, rubbing his head, "Where is what?" he responds in confusion.

The old man points to his eyes, bare of the dark make-up he usually had on.

"I didn't take it. I've been here the whole time," replies Lavi, turning back for confirmation from Kanda, who nods slowly, running a hand through his dark locks.

"I see," says Bookman, "Then that means, your brats took it."

He casts a glance at the males state of undress, and decides to say nothing.

Conveniently, Max creeps down the hall, and of course, stops in his tracks when he glances into Lavi's room, "Holy shit! Close the door if you're gonna be doing that stuff!" he exclaims, eyes wide.

Lavi chuckles, while Kanda rolls his eyes.

"Max, come here," commands Bookman.

The teen stares at him, "Uhm, I'm flattered, really Bookman, but I'm not into that sorta thing, especially with wrinkly old men," he says.

And immediately gets drop-kicked into the opposite wall, "Silence!" snaps Bookman, straightening out his clothes and frowning down at the nearly unconscious teen.

"Let me see what's in your pockets," he continues.

Max moans and sits up, emptying his pockets.

With a clatter, the eye-liner lands on the ground beside him.

Everything is silent, so silent you could hear a fly fart (A/N I have no idea where that came from!)

"So you were the one," states Bookman gravely, glaring down at the bloodied teen.

"I-it wasn't me!" sputters Max fearfully, "I swear! I have no idea how it got there! I ran out so fast, I wasn't the one who picked it up!" he says hurriedly.

"You planned it, eh?" says Bookman, hauling the teen up by the collar of his shirt, "Well I have some work that needs to be done, and since Lavi is busy, you can do it. Perfect training for a Finder-in-training," he states, and swiftly starts to drag the protesting teen down the hall.

"NOOOOO!!! LET ME GO, I DIDN'T TAKE IT!!!" screams Max, flailing his arms and legs, desperately trying to get out of the Bookman's grip.

Glancing back, he sees Haru, Raine, Becca and Anju leaning against the wall.

Realization dawns on him, "It was YOU GUYS! YOU SET ME UP!" he accuses, as the four teens wave at him cheerfully.

"Pay back is a bitch, moron!" calls Becca, smirking at him evilly.

"Have fun, Max!" adds Anju,

"Don't forget to write!" says Raine helpfully, waving at him.

"We're still getting your pudding, but for four months this time," says Haru, "And Lenalee will be notified," he adds with a grin.

Max's eyes widen in disbelief, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I'LL GET YOU GUYS BACK FOR THIS!!!!"

Once he and Bookman were gone, Lavi turns to the other teens, "You guys are evil," he states.

Becca laughs, "Well he deserved it," she responds, punching Haru lightly on the shoulder.

"It's hard to believe, but sometimes, Haru is a genius," exclaims Anju, nudging her brother.

"Hey! I'm always a genius!" protests the redhead.

Kanda grunts, "Hey genius, your fly is unzipped," he points out, an eyebrow raised.

Haru gasps, and glances down, quickly zipping it up, "Yeah, well, at least I have pants on!" he retorts.

Anju sighs, "I take it back, you're an idiot," she mutters.

Becca chuckles, "Yep, but at least he got us out of trouble."

"I am not an idiot!" whines Haru, crossing his arms over his chest sourly.

"Honestly, I don't get a shit whether you're a genius or a complete dumbass," snaps Kanda, "Get the hell out of here!"

Lavi laughs at the raven haired samurai's annoyed scowl, and nods to the teens, "You'd better go. Yuu-chan is getting pretty frisky," he says.

The teens stare at him in horror once again as he turns his back on them and slowly shuts the door.

The last thing they see is Kanda's leering face as he raises himself on the bed, "Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that?" he asks moodily.

"You know you like it," replies Lavi.

Once the sound of bed springs creaking hits the air, the teens evacuate,

"Holy shit, they don't waste time!" exclaims Becca,

Haru nods gravely, "You have no idea."

"AH, my nose is bleeding!" shrieks Raine, cupping her nose in her hands, blood spurting out.

"We'll get you some tissues later, right now, run for your lives!" shouts Anju, pulling on ahead of her.

A few minutes later, they had run far enough away to where they couldn't hear any noise of Lavi and Kanda's activities, and were resting against the railing of the upper levels of the Black Order.

"Now what do we do?" asks Anju, totally out of breath, chest heaving.

Becca shrugs, "Who knows," she responds.

Raine makes a weak whimpering sound in her throat and shoves more tissues up her nose, blushing madly, "I'm so embarrassed," she squeaks.

Anju pats her on the shoulder, "It's alright. I had a nose bleed the first time I heard those two going at it," she says reassuringly.

"Hey genius, do you think the moron will really go through with revenge on us?" asks Becca.

Haru shrugs, "Like I care? We can handle anything he can dish out. And if its robots, I'm gonna seriously kick his ass," he states.

A sudden explosion sounds from the cafeteria, and the teenagers stare at each other in wonder.

Becca rolls her eyes, "Komui-no-baka is 'defending' his precious Lenalee again," she explains.

"Oh," mutter the others in unison.

A moment of silence passes.

"Wanna head over there and watch him get his ass kicked?" suggests Haru.

"Sure, why not?" replies Anju, "We can get Raine some more tissues too," she adds helpfully.

"And then we can get some ice cream!" exclaims Becca, almost happily.

"Well, let's go," says Haru, and with that, the four of them head over there, looking forward to the entertainment that would surely follow.

End.

A/N so that was it. I seriously enjoyed writing this! It was a blast. Now, a few things. Yes, I know Kanda was ooc, but hey, it's kind of hard to capture his personality perfectly. So, shrug, I did my best. I'm sure Kanda may not show it, but he's gotta be incredibly horny, and you must admit, the image of him racing down the hall to go get some is humorous. And as for the panda getting his eye liner stolen, he was just asking for it. So please read and review, I'm sure I'll have a few more ones shots to follow this one. Thanks for reading!

HotIceRed


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